Be Good for Goodness Sake
Be Yourself as You Want to See Yourself

Do most people want to be better.... not in a competitive way, not in comparison to others, but just a desire to be the best possible version of our own perfectly flawed self?

Are we basically good people who want to improve, terrible people who don’t care, or someone in-between; regular flawed humans, a mix of good and bad, who might want to be better but is too often just trying to get through the day?

Something I’ve been wondering is whether people actually do try to be the best version of themselves. The only way to heal this divided world is for all of us to start with ourselves, take responsibility, and be better, much better.

Do you?  And what does being your best-self mean to you?

Whatever it means, below are some thoughts about how to get there: 

• Choose to be Better
• Choose to be Happy
• Practice Gratitude
  • As an extra benefit, living in gratitude feels like a safety hammock under my mood
• Have Kindness as Your Guide
  • Be kind to yourself
  • Be kind to others
  • Kindness as a guide vs. the rule of law, remember:
    • It was legal to own slaves, and illegal to be in the Underground Railroad
    • It was legal for Germans to put Jews in ovens, illegal to help them escape the country
  • Kindness as a guide vs religion, remember:
    • Crusades, Jihad, Ku Klux Clan, Witch hunts, Holocaust, Abortion clinic bombings, Satanic Sacrifices
    • The Bible says that an unmarried woman who is not a virgin shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death
    • If it weren’t true it would be funny: Until the 1600s the Catholic Church was putting mathematicians to death for using zero in their equations.
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zero:_The_Biography_of_a_Dangerous_Idea
• “Be yourself: All the other people are taken.” Anon
• Be yourself as you want to see yourself
• Love Unconditionally
• Be Loyal / Faithful
  • To your values 
  • To yourself
  • To others
• Practice Acceptance
  • Accept yourself – even the mistakes and parts you want to improve.
  • Accept others – including the mistakes and flaws.
    • Remember if something in someone else elicits a strong, negative response in you, it’s likely that you have that same trait and are hiding it from yourself.
    • Use the reaction to learn about yourself, even if it takes weeks or more to see yourself clearly.
    • The hardest person to see is the one in the mirror
  • What is, is.
    • At the same time, fight to change for the better
• Forgiveness sets our heart free.
  • Forgive yourself
  • Forgive others
    • 
• Let Go of Anger
  • “Being angry and unforgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die” -Anon.
• Take Responsibility
  • Don’t be a victim.
    • Even if we are only 10% responsible for our situation, if we identify and own it, we find 10% power to change, and that can change everything.
  • If you were wrong, own it and apologize. It’s liberating!
    • It takes a strong person to admit being wrong.
    • It is the right thing for the other person, too, who might just also own up to their part in the situation.
  • Reach out to fix whatever it is you know you did, caused, etc.
    • Just pick up the phone – you know it’s past time.
  • Forgive and forget if you feel wronged, even if the other person can’t or won’t apologize. That’s their loss, not yours.
• Take Care of Yourself, so You Can Also Care for Others.
  • "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?" Rabbi Hillel
  • Remember, if you’re on a plane with a baby, you put your mask on first, because you’re no good to anyone if you pass out!
  • Get enough sleep, exercise, eat healthy food, etc.
  • Connect with others.
  • Set goals.
  • Give yourself downtime.
  • Compliment yourself – know your strengths and enjoy the best of yourself.
• Ask Questions. Listen.
  • The first question should be what questions to ask!
  • Question assumptions and beliefs.
    • Ask: How? How do I know that’s true? How did I come to that conclusion? Have I ever considered any alternatives?
  • Be Curious, Open to Change, and Always Keep Learning
    • Learn to listen… that’s worth repeating!
    • Be adventurous.
    • Step out of your comfort zone.
    • Travel- learn about the world first-hand.
  • Be Gently Honest, with Yourself and Everyone
    • Even ugly truth is better than pretty lies.
    • Remember, others want to be better, too. Gentle constructive observations can be hugely helpful.
  • Be Fair
  • Celebrate and enjoy differences.
    • Celebrate differences in people, viewpoints, lifestyles, cultures – everything.
      • Joy in differences is so much better than ‘acceptance” – have fun!
      • 
• Be Emotionally Generous:
  • Be empathetic, encouraging, enthusiastic, friendly, approachable, gentle. …and always kind – yeah, kind is worth repeating!
• Stand Up and Speak Out for What’s Right
  • Defend yourself.
  • Defend others.
  • “Make Good Trouble” As civil rights activist, Congressman John Lewis said
• Be a Visionary, Work Towards Goals, and at the Same Time, Be Unattached

Show up, dress up, work hard, sweat, be in the game, but don’t get attached to the outcome.

• When we are unattached, we are free to see brilliance in the unexpected.
• Sometimes ‘not’ getting what we want is our lucky break. Look for the opportunity in what appears to be crisis

Stay Positive, and at the Same Time, a few Don’ts.

• Don’t gossip.
• Don’t bad mouth.
• Don’t discriminate.
• Don’t judge.

Trust and be Trustworthy.

• Say what you mean – mean what you say
• Stay true to yourself and your words: No excuses.
• My philosophy on trust is to trust without question, except in two situations. If money or sex is involved, then we must pay attention.
  • For example: If you’re at a cocktail party and someone is telling amusing stories about being the Emperor of Mars, as long as he isn’t trying to sell you Martian real estate, or have Martian babies with you, just enjoy the emperor!
• Be Dependable
  • Try your darndest to do what you say you’ll do-
    • Own it, apologize, try to make up for when you can’t
  • Turn up on time.
• Shop Small, Local, and Support Artists...of course I had to slip that in here  ;-)
  • We give our souls to nurture yours
  • The money you spend locally goes right back into the community and lifts everyone.
• Practice Random Acts of Kindness
  • They ripple out like pebbles in a pond, and lift others in ways we can only imagine.
    • 
• Be of Service to Others
  • Being good and doing good is its own reward.
  • Thank others for allowing you to help
  • Looking for thanks puts our attention in the wrong place. Instead of looking for praise, focus on the inner joy.
• Re-write Your Own Story
  • Never too late to start the day over, even at 11:59 there’s more to the day
  • Stars can’t shine without darkness
  • Best of times- worst of times- this is life and lift it’s about change- let’s all aim for excellence.

Working towards being the best version of ourselves will give us happiness and serenity.  If we always try to be our best, we'll accept ourselves, love ourselves, and will not have to prove anything to anyone. If we never do anything we would be embarrassed for the whole world to know, we live in truth and light.

Freedom = Nothing to Prove + Nothing to Hide