What does being better mean to you?

Sometimes I wonder if people even want to be better.... not in a competitive way, not in comparison to others, but just a desire to be the best possible version of our own perfectly flawed self.

Do you?  

Whatever improving means to you, below are some thoughts about how to get there: 

• Choose to be Better.

  

• Choose to be Happy.
• Practice Gratitude
• Have Kindness as Your Guide
  
  • Be kind to yourself
  • Be kind to others
  • Kindness as a guide vs. the rule of law, remember:
    • It was legal to have slaves
      • illegal to be in the Underground Railroad
    • It was legal for Germans to put Jews in ovens
      • illegal to help them escape the country.
  • Kindness as a guide vs religion, remember:
    • Crusades, Jihad, Ku Klux Clan, Witch hunts, Holocaust, Abortion clinic bombings, Satanic Sacrifices
      • If it weren’t true it would be funny: Until the 1600s the Catholic Church was putting mathematicians to death for using zero in their equations
         Wikipedia "Zero: Biography of a Dangerous Idea"
• Be yourself:  
  • "All the other people are taken." 
• Love Unconditionally
• Be Loyal / Faithful.
  
  • To your values
    
  • To yourself
  • To others
• Practice Acceptance
  
  • Accept yourself – even the mistakes and parts you want to improve.
  • Accept others – including the mistakes and flaws.
  • Remember if something in someone else elicits a strong, negative response in you, it’s likely that you have that same trait and are hiding it from yourself.
    
    • Use the reaction to learn about yourself, even if it takes weeks or more to see yourself clearly.
  • What is, is.
    • At the same time, fight to change for the better

    

• Forgive and Let it Go 
  • Forgiveness sets your heart free.
    • Forgive yourself.
    • Forgive others.
• Let Go of Anger
  
  • “Being angry and unforgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die” -Anon.
• Take Responsibility
  • Being a victim robs ourselves of our own power
    • Even if we are only 10% responsible for our situation, if we identify and own it, we find 10% power to change, and that can change everything.
  • If you were wrong, own it and apologize.
    
    • It takes a strong person to admit being wrong.
      • It is the right thing for the other person, too, who might just also own up to their part in the situation.
  • Reach out to fix whatever it is you know you did, caused, etc.
  • Just pick up the phone – you know it’s past time.
  • Forgive and forget if you feel wronged, even if the other person can’t or won’t apologize. That’s their loss, not yours.
• Take Care of Yourself, so You Can Also Care for Others
  • Get enough sleep, exercise, eat healthy food, etc.
  • Connect with others.
  • Set goals.
  • Give yourself downtime.
  • Compliment yourself – know your strengths and enjoy the best of yourself.
• Ask Questions. Listen.
  • The first question should be what questions to ask!
  • Question assumptions and beliefs.
    
    • Ask: How? How do I know that’s true? How did I come to that conclusion?
       Have I ever considered any alternatives?
• Be Curious, Open to Change, and Always Keep Learning
  • Learn to listen… that’s worth repeating!
  • Be adventurous.
  • Step out of your comfort zone.
  • Travel- learn about the world first-hand.
  • Compromise
    • "The most important trip you'll make is meeting people half way" Henry Boyle  
• Be Gently Honest, with Yourself and Everyone
  
  • Even ugly truth is better than pretty lies.
  • Remember, others want to be better, too. Gentle constructive observations can be hugely helpful.
• Be Fair
• Celebrate and enjoy differences.
  • Celebrate the differences in people, viewpoints, lifestyles, cultures – everything.
    • Joy in
       differences is so much better than ‘acceptance” – have fun!
• Be Emotionally Generous:
  • Be empathetic, encouraging, enthusiastic, friendly, approachable, gentle. …and always kind – yeah, kind is worth repeating!
• Stand Up and Speak Out for What’s Right
  
  • Defend yourself.
  • Defend others.
  • “Make Good Trouble” Civil rights activist, Congressman John Lewis
• Be a Visionary, Work Towards Goals, and at the Same Time, Be Unattached
  • Show up, dress up, work hard, sweat, be in the game, but don’t get attached to the outcome.
    • When we are unattached, we are free to see brilliance in the unexpected.
• Stay Positive, and at the Same Time, a Few Don’ts.
  • Don’t gossip.
  • Don’t bad mouth.
  • Don’t discriminate.
  • Don’t judge.

• Trust and be Trustworthy.
  • Say what you mean – mean what you say
  • Stay true to yourself and your words: No excuses.
  • My philosophy on trust is to trust without question, except in two situations. If money or sex is involved, then we must pay attention.
    • For example: If you’re at a cocktail party and someone is telling amusing stories about being the Emperor of Mars, as long as he isn’t trying to sell you Martian real estate, or have Martian babies with you, just enjoy the emperor!
• Be Dependable
  • Try your darndest to do what you say you’ll do-
  • Own it, apologize, fix it! Try to make up for when you can’t live up to your word  
  • Turn up on time.

• Shop Small, Local, and Support Artists
  • We give our souls to nurture yours
  • The money you spend locally doesn't go to corporations, it goes right back into the community and lifts everyone.
• Practice Random Acts of Kindness  

  

  • They ripple out like pebbles in a pond, and lift others in ways we can only imagine.
• Be of Service to Others
  
  • Being good and doing good is its own reward.
  • Thank others for allowing you to help
    
    • Looking for thanks puts our attention in the wrong place and steals the true joy of service.
      • Instead of looking for praise, focus on the inner joy.
• Re-write Your Own Story
  
  • Never too late to start the day over, even at 11:59 there’s more to the day
  • Stars can’t shine without darkness
  • Best of times- worst of times- this is life and life is about change- let’s all aim for excellence.

Working towards being the best version of our beautifully flawed and scarred selves will bring happiness and serenity.  If we always try to be our best, accept and love ourselves, we will have nothing to prove to anyone.

If we never do anything we would be embarrassed for the whole world to know, then we live in truth and light.

Freedom= Nothing to Prove + Nothing to Hide